Myself and fellow lady entrepreneurs, we work hard, we make bold steps to pursue our dreams and we are constantly evolving as people. We don't settle for anything less than extraordinary! And same goes for our love lives. We aren't just looking for any guy to watch Netflix with, we're looking for partners in crime. The ying to our yang. The 'Susan' to our Lauryn (lol TSC reference).
As an entrepreneur we are focused on our biz, which entails growing and forming new relationships. This is when the thought occurred to me that dating and business actually have quite a bit in common.
If you're like me and growing a biz comes naturally to you but when it comes to dating you feel a bit intimidated/awkward/confused (or maybe you’re great at both, or good at dating but not so much at biz) I think you'll find these commonalities between the two helpful.
Essentially both are about how to be confident and form relationships, just with different intentions. Keep in mind I’m not an expert on either of these topics, but I wanted to share my perspective so keep reading for my 7 tips how to navigate dating & business!
1. Just ask
I heard the weirdest saying today but it applies here. "The squeaky wheel gets the grease." It means the person who speaks up gets attention. I like this because you don't receive what you never ask for! When it comes to business and dating you need to be brave and ask for what you want.
Reach out to past inquires to see if they want to book your services, email someone you would love to collaborate with, go up to the cute guy at the bar & get his number.
Worst case is it doesn't work out. It's not like if someone says no it sets you back in life!? I have to tell myself when I get nervous, what am I scared of? The outcome is either staying exactly where you are (at least if you get turned down you can move forward and not wonder "what if") or it works out amazingly!
Go out and ask for what you want, don't be a bystander in your own life.
2. Nail the First 5 minutes
People generally make assumptions pretty quickly, but that can work in your favour! All you need to do is be confident, charismatic and positive in those initial minutes of meeting someone and they will assume you have your *ish together.
If you're at a networking event you may be talking to someone and they end up being the CEO at some big company, or if you're out with friends and start chatting to the guy at the bar, he could be the love of your life! You never know who you are meeting so always make sure to leave a great first impression.
3. Filter out the sleezeballs
Okay let's be real I just wanted to use the word sleezeballs in this post... But in all seriousness in biz you meet a lot of people in person and over social media, and you end up having to filter through the “too forward” salespeople and the social media players (anyone else sick of the follow then unfollow game?) to come across genuine people and form real connections.
Instagram for business is like Bumble for dating. You have to filter through a lot of bad eggs or weirdos before finding the nice people with good intentions. If 20% of the people you meet end up being one of the ‘good ones’, that’s a pretty good percentage!
However that does mean the majority of people you won’t click with, and know that’s okay. Just don’t get discouraged in business or dating, good people are out there!
4. Friend Zone Everyone
This is the BEST tip a friend gave me when it came to dating. Basically put every guy (or girl) you have a crush on in the friend zone. (Obviously you don’t tell them that, do it in your mind so no one knows)
I find this helpful because when you make someone out to be more important in your mind you get nervous to talk to them. That’s when I realized this tip also applies to business. Kinda hard to go into a business meeting or date trying to make a good impression when you are fumbling over your words and sweating out sheer panic.
To combat this, think to yourself “my goal is to have this person become my friend.” This takes the pressure off (that way you’re not stressing about selling them your services or securing a second date) and this mindset instantly makes me more relaxed about the situation.
Then you can be yourself, find common interests between you two and let the conversation flow naturally.
5. Be Inquisitive
Simple fact: everyone likes talking about themselves. (or when other people take an interest in them) Again you can use this to your advantage when you first meet someone. Come prepared with interesting questions to ask them, this will keep the conversation going to prevent any awkward pauses and they will also like you more!
Don’t take this the wrong way, you’re only goal isn’t to make the other person like you but to use this time to evaluate if you like (or want to date or work with) them as well! You can tell a lot more about a person from the answers they give than from you just talking on and on.
6. Be Authentically you
Being unique is your advantage, it makes you memorable to the people you meet! Something that really makes a person memorable is when they have two opposite qualities that actually complement one another, and they become irresistible to be around. Matthew Hussey calls these unique pairings. (ie. Ambitious & playful, kind & assertive, spontaneous & dependable, sexy & intelligent) It’s like the perfect combination of salty & sweet!
What makes you as a person unique? Don’t hide this because that’s what makes you, YOU. And everyone is more attracted to someone that is authentically them, in both dating and business.
It’s better to embrace your unique qualities and let that set you apart than conform to everyone around you. You will attract people that love this about you, which feels much better than trying to be someone you’re not. So just own it!
7. Believe in Yourself
Okay my last tip is to believe in yourself! The journey of love and success are similar, first you must believe you are worthy of both for them to come into your life.
To start believing in yourself, think and speak positively to yourself. In business if I feel discouraged because I don’t know how to do something or think my goals are too big, I tell myself “I may not be where I want to yet, but I will bust my butt learning and working to get there!” When I think that way I already envision myself working towards my goals and I feel confident in my work ethic.
Also try telling yourself “things always work out for me” or “good things come my way.” This frames your mind to have positive expectations, and positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes! I did this last weekend when I was out with friends, and that night I got a couple free drinks, found $20 on the floor and exchanged numbers with a cute guy! I wasn’t expecting any of this to happen but I was in a positive mindset and open to good things happening.
Now relax, believe in yourself and trust that good things will come your way and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at all the amazing opportunities that present themselves.
Happy Valentine’s day everyone & I love you all for taking the time to read this! <3